Sandra Hill. Novellas

Bolthor's Bride

CHAPTER ONE

Did Vikings get writers' block?...

'Twas the yule season in the icy Northlands, best known as Jól, a time for good Norsemen to cocoon themselves in warm timber keeps over the dark winter months. Come the spring thaw, they would be off a-Viking once again.

Animals had already been slaughtered...pigs, cattle, and such...so they would not have to be fed over the dark months. Vegetables had been preserved. Firewood cut. Mead brewed.

'Twas a time for celebrating at leisure, with tuns of mead, both the pagan solstice and Christ's birth. And, of course, many a Viking child would be conceived in the bed furs by Viking men and women who were bored and lustsome.

But not everyone was merry this yule season. Bolthor the Skald, for one, was not in the mood. Not for good Jól. Not for the mead madness. Not for bedsport. Not for the exchange of manly boasts of daring adventures in far-off lands or betwixt a woman's thighs. And he was definitely not in the verse mood, which was sad for a skald, but, truth be told, his brain was blocked for any new poems.

In early days, he had been called Bolthor the Big because of his uncommon size. In his prime, he had been known as Bolthor the Berserker, a far-famed warrior, but that was before he lost an eye in a long ago battle. Not that he could not fight if need be, just not with the skills he had in the past. Still later, some referred to him, behind his back, as Bolthor the World's Worst Skald. Despite the change in status, from warrior to poet, he had not been unhappy. For a certainty, he had come here to Dragonstead, home of his good friend Tykir Ericsson, for that very reason...to entertain the guests with his praise poems and sagas.

"What is amiss, my friend?" Tykir asked, coming up to him at the back of the Dragonstead great hall where he had been sitting on one bench, leaning back against the trestle table, with his booted feet propped on the other bench. Tykir carried two horns of mead, handing one to him.

"Naught of concern."

"You seem gloomy of spirit."

"I am not gloomy. Can a man not be quiet and contemplative on occasion?"

"Did someone say something to offend you? Just say the word and I will lop off the lout's loose tongue."

"Dost think I would let words wound me? And I can do my own lopping, thank you very much."

"Perchance you have a bad case of the rumbling bowels."

"Aaarrgh! My bowels are in fine shape. Go away, Tykir. If I was not gloomy afore, I will be now under your bothersome questions."

"Mayhap you need to tup a maid, or five. Have I ever told you about the famous Viking S-Spot?"

"Lackwit! I was the one who taught you about the famous Viking S-Spot. And, hear me well, the answer to every problem is not a roll in the bed furs."

"It works for me."

The two men grinned at each other then.

Bolthor had seen forty-two winters. Tykir was older than him by a half dozen years or more, but Tykir was still a comely man with long, silver-threaded blond hair, beaded war braids framing one side of his face only, exposing a thunderbolt earring. Whereas Bolthor had ne'er been considered a prime specimen of male beauty. He was not ugly, but he was too big, too rough-skinned, and, of course, there was the missing eye, ever covered by an eye patch.

Although he had to admit that he did look better than usual in the fine raiment that Tykir and his wife Alinor had given him as a Jól gift...soft brown wool braies, an overtunic in a darker brown wool with neck and sleeves embroidered with gold thread in a writhing dragon design, and a gold link belt. Vikings loved to give gifts, no matter the season. He had brought a barrel of fine Frankish wine as his gift for them.

But now, Bolthor took a long swig of the cool mead, which came from Tykir's sister-by-marriage, Eadyth, and his brother Eirik, who had yet to arrive from their Northumbrian estate, Ravenshire. Eadyth was renowned for her honey trade, which included the sale of honey itself, but also candles and very fine mead.

"Why do you keep yourself apart from the others?" Tykir persisted.

Bolthor exhaled with whooshy surrender. "I know they will ask for a saga or praise-poem, and I have none to offer."

"None at all?"

Bolthor was not sure that was dismay or exhilaration that flashed on Tykir's face at the news of no poem reciting.

"Not one single ode can I think of."

"All ode-ed out, eh?" Tykir joked.

Bolthor was not amused.

"I invited you here for your company, not just for your...um, talents. We have been friends and comrades-in-arms for more than twenty years, my friend. Your presence is enough."

Bolthor nodded, then conceded, "I could recite some of the old praise-poems I created about you over the years."

That was definitely dismay on Tykir's face. "You recall them? All of them?" he choked out, then drank half his horn of mead in one long gulp.

"Yea, I do. Some from memory, but others I wrote on a wax tablet to remind myself," he said. "Hmmm. There is `Saga of the Proud Viking,' `Tykir the Great and the Raging Bowel," `Dumb Vikings,' `The Bewitched Viking,' `Manly Rules of Love,' `Advice to a Dumb Dolt,' `A Viking View of Life,' `Tykir and the Horny Sheep,' or `Viking Men and Jiggling Bosoms.' For a start."

"Oh, my gods!" Tykir did not even try to hide his dismay now. "You would not!"

Bolthor grinned.

"Yea, he would, if I have my say. Mayhap I will learn more about my dearling husband," Alinor said, coming up and giving Bolthor a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey! How about me?" Tykir asked with mock affront, pulling Alinor onto his lap and kissing her with vigor and smacking lips.

Tykir and Alinor were smitten with each other, even after more than ten years of marriage. But they were the most mismatched couple...everyone said so...he being godly handsome and her not so pretty, with bushy rust-colored hair and hundreds of freckles. Then there were the rumors of her being a witch. Of course, Tykir considered her beautiful, and that was all that mattered. He cared not a whit if she was a witch or a sorceress as long as she shared his bed fur, Tykir told one and all.

"Did you find out why he is so gloomy?" Alinor asked Tykir, as if Bolthor were not there to ask directly.

"I am not gloomy," Bolthor repeated.

"I did ask why he had such a long face, but I do not think he gave me an answer. Did you?" Tykir turned to him.

These people were barmy. Nice barmy, but barmy still.

"Nay, I did not. There is naught wrong with me. Must I be smiling and spouting drivel all the time?"

Ignoring what Bolthor said, Tykir told his wife, "The verse mood has suddenly left him, like the prick of a bloated sheep bladder. Ssssssssssssssssh!"

Some comparison!

"Really?" Alinor appeared genuinely concerned. "I was hoping to hear a new poem about you, husband."

Tykir pinched his wife's buttock.

She squealed.

They kissed.

Same as always. They were like children, even though they had four children of their own.

Straightening in Tykir's lap with her holding onto his straying hands, Alinor gave her attention back to Bolthor. "Methinks I know the cure for your sad state."

Bolthor groaned.

"A woman."

"That's precisely what I told him," Tykir said. "A good swiving of a dozen or so young maids with jiggly bosoms, and he will be right as rain."

"That is not what I meant, you crude oaf."

"But I am your crude oaf," Tykir asserted.

"That you are, heartling." Alinor gave Tykir a fleeting kiss of apology. "I meant a wife. We must needs find a bride for Bolthor."

Bolthor put his face in his hands and counted to ten, then reminded Alinor, "You tried this afore, milady. Remember the Saxon thrall with a bottom the size of a bishop's arse."

"Well, appearance is not everything," Alinor replied huffily, though a smile twitched at her lips.

Bolthor rolled his one eye. "She had a wart on the tip of her nose, Alinor. A big wart."

"Oh. Well, there was the tradeswoman from Jorvik."

"She preferred women to men."

"Huh?"

Tykir whispered an explanation in his wife's ear.

She went wide-eyed at whatever he said. "There were others that were good prospects," Alinor insisted.

"I would like to know which ones. All I can think of is the former nun who liked to suck on toes. Or the warrior woman who wanted to arm wrestle with me. Or the harlot with the strange rash. Or the Arab girl who could not have seen more than twelve winters. Or the noble lady from Norsemandy who loved her ale, all day long. Or the Saxon wench was comely enough, but--"

Alinor raised her hands in surrender.

Tykir, of course, was laughing like a fool.

"Leastways you are wearing the garments I had specially made for you, Bolthor," Alinor remarked with a devious gleam in her green eyes.

Uh-oh! Methinks the witch has another of her plans afoot.

Shoving herself off her husband's lap and wayward fingers, Alinor brushed the wrinkles out of her gunna and said, "I still say a good woman is the cure for your melancholy. `Bolthor's Bride,' that is the name of my new venture."

He would like to tell Alinor what he thought of that idea, but it would not have mattered. Alinor did what Alinor wanted.

To distract them from this unpalatable subject, Bolthor said, "Methinks I might have a small poem. I will call it `Ode to a Norse Winter'."

'Tis oftimes said of Viking men
when icy winds blow down
'Tis best to stokes the fires in hearths,
As well as manly fires below."

"That was horrible," Alinor said in an undertone to her husband.

Did she think he had hearing problems just because he had only one eye?

"All his odes are horrible," Tykir replied, also in an undertone. "But at least he's creating the bloody things again."

Yea, they thought he was weak of ear.

"Very well done, Bolthor," Alinor lied. "But I am still going to work on my `Bolthor's Bride' venture."

Bolthor bit his tongue to prevent foul words from escaping.

All thought of gloom or Alinor's machinations fled his mind then as a young stableboy rushed into the great hall. His hair and clothing were covered with snowflakes. His nose and ears were red, and green snot was frozen above his upper lip. The floor rushes came billowing up as he came to an abrupt halt in front of Tykir, who stood now, along with Bolthor. The boy panted for breath, then blurted out, "The cold outside is nigh unbearable, jarl." Jarl was a title of nobility in the Norselands, similar to a British earl. "The fjord is startin' to ice up, and the outer guard tol' me that yer brother's longship is stuck 'bout three hides from here."

"Why didn't you say that to begin with?" Tykir snapped. He was already donning his fur-lined boots, gloves, mantle and hat. Bolthor was doing the same, following after him, as were dozens of other men about the hall as word passed quickly. They needed no orders. All knew the danger of the cold and freezing fjord this time of the year. It could change from very cold to deathly cold within the span of an hour, the kind of cold where body appendages froze and broke off like icicles. Many an ear or nose or fingers had been lost thus.

They rushed down the incline toward the fjord, each carrying a torch to light the way, along with blankets. The air was so cold it hurt to breathe. What had Eirik been thinking to cross the waters from Britain this late in the season? Eirik was half Saxon, half Viking, sharing a father with Tykir, but his wife was full-blooded Saxon.

The women and a handful of children were huddled around a fire near the shore, whilst some of the men were breaking the fast-forming ice atop the fjord and other men were attempting to pull the longship aground over log rollers. He saw Eirik right off, standing in the center, calling out directions.

Seeing them, Eirik came over and gave his brother Tykir warm greeting kisses on each cheek, followed by a tight hug. Then he did the same to Bolthor.

"What can we do?" Bolthor asked.

"I brought men with me. Do you need more?" Tykir asked.

"This should suffice. Bolthor, can you help get this bloody longship aground? And, Tykir, take the women and children up to the keep as soon as possible. The chattering of their teeth and constant nagging is driving us men nigh demented. They think they could do a better job."

He and Tykir grinned at Eirik, understanding perfectly, then turned to glance at the huddled group before the fire. There was Eadyth, Eirik's wife, and their four daughters, who gave them little waves, but many more women than Bolthor would have expected, some of the noble classes if their fine attire were any indication.

Suddenly, one women asked, "Which one is Bolthor?"

Bolthor's head shot up.

"Yea, introduce us, Eadyth," another woman said.

"Me, too," one after another said. Six women in all, and possibly seven including the one standing apart with several children.

"Huh?" Bolthor turned to Tykir and Eirik who both shrugged, then grinned at him.

"Alinor," they all concluded as one.

At that moment, Bolthor sighed deeply and seriously considered a long walk to the land of the Danes.

*****

There are manhunts, and then there are MANhunts...

This could very well be the worst mistake that Katherine of Wickshire Manor in Northumbria had ever made. And, saints above! her short thirty-year life had been filled with plenty of blunders.

--Three marriages to men who had the audacity to die on her, even the middle, young one. Swines, all of them.

--A poultry business she'd started on her estate to replenish the sadly depleted funds left by her last husband, the swine. The business had prospered...too much. Wickshire was overrun with chickens these days and no one to kill and send them to market. In fact, she'd brought four crates of the noisesome creatures as a gift for Alinor, much to the consternation of everyone on the longboat.

--A tiny little quarrel she'd recently had with her fourth cousin, that swine King Edgar, which meant he would be finding her another husband forthwith, and, for a certainty, the man would be as unpalatable as the king could find. Therefore, she must find another husband first.

--A sea voyage to end all sea voyages as the sturdy longship had tried to outrun the onslaught of winter in this primitive land of mountains and a thousand rivers and cold like she'd never experienced before.

--Four precious children, aged three to twelve, who were driving her barmy.

--Hopes raised that this Viking Bolthor might be the answer to her dilemma...a strong man with no lands but plenty of coin, who supposedly was in need of a wife. Yea, she had come searching for a husband, but not just any man. He must be strong and able to lead. Small though her holdings were, they were all she had to pass on to her children. But, lo and behold, on the journey here she had learned that six other women were coming with the same expectations. Her friend, the wily Alinor, was going to get an earful this day.

Her mouth dropped open as she watched said Bolthor lift one of the logs himself and carry it off to the side. So, strength at least was one of his assets. It was hard to see in the dim light of the torches what he looked like, except for his massive height, but then handsomeness was not a prerequisite for a husband. She'd had that with her last swine...uh, husband, and look where it got her. Widowhood and near poverty.

He was not young, but neither was Katherine. Thirty years old, four children, a poor estate, and an angry cousin-king did not make for prize bride goods on the marriage mart.

She did have beauty aplenty, however, Katherine noted with no lack of humility, having been told so from an early age. Thick, waist-length hair the color of polished ebony. Full lips which were a natural rose color. Skin like new cream. A body which was too slim for most men's tastes, but offset by full breasts, narrow waist, long legs and a backside which all three of her husbands had deemed commendable. Frankly, she would be better off with a sizeable dowry than a pretty face.

Well, enough of this dawdling. She motioned for her eldest son, twelve-year-old Matthew, who had been helping move the longship, to come join them on the trek up to the Dragonstead keep.

Then, mindful of that old adage that the slow bird got no worms, she walked up to the giant, her children in tow like ducklings, and pointed a finger in his chest, asking, "Are you Bolthor?"

The man nodded dubiously.

"Take us up to the keep afore we shiver to death," she demanded.

He looked down at her...and, yea, even though she was tall for a woman, she only came to his shoulder...as if she'd lost her mind. She no doubt had, considering she was in the damned Norselands in the middle of winter looking for a husband. As if poleaxed, he glanced at his comrades who just grinned.

Eadyth, who had not yet gone up to the keep with the other women and children, walked over and linked her arm with her husband Eirik. "Everyone, I would like to introduce you to Alinor's friend Kate from Wickshire Manor in Northumbria. Her estate abuts Graycote Manor, Alinor's onetime home. And these are her sons, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John." Eadyth glared at each of the men then, daring them to make a snide remark about the Biblical names. Turning to Kate, she continued, "Eirik, you already know. This rascal here is Tykir, Alinor's husband, who had best stop smirking or his wife will clobber him. And this, of course, is our good friend Bolthor."

Bolthor continued to look poleaxed, gazing at her as if she were an apparition. She did not know if that were a good or bad sign.

"Take Kate and her family up to the keep, if you will, Bolthor."

Muttering, Bolthor picked up a torch and was about to proceed, not even waiting for them, when Katherine got her first good look at the giant's face. Slapping a hand to her chest, she said, "Oh, good Lord!"

"What?" Bolthor growled. "Am I too ugly for you, milady?"

"Ugly? You jest. You must be the mostly godly handsome man I have ever seen. Do you wear that eye patch for vanity?"

Bolthor straightened. "I am not handsome and never have been. And this eye patch I wear because I have no eye. Are you satisfied now?" Without waiting for an answer, he started to stomp off.

"I did not mean to offend," she tried to say, but he was already moving away. Another swine?

Dragonstead was situated in a bowl-shaped valley known as the Valley of the Dragons. The name stemmed from an old legend that millions of years ago this valley had served as a Dragon's nest. A small timber and stone "castle," in the Frankish rather than the Norse style, sat perched on the lip of one side.

But she was wool-gathering. She picked up speed with her children scurrying after the swine. They had almost caught up when three-year-old John tripped and fell face first into the snow. Before the child had a chance to cry, Bolthor scooped him up and carried him high against his shoulder as if he weighed no more than a feather. John, who was normally folk-shy, just stared at Bolthor with fascination. Touching his fingertips to Bolthor's eye patch, John asked, "Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore."

"Are you my father?"

"Nay, child, I am not your father." John pressed his face into the crook of Bolthor's neck, and Bolthor kissed the top of his head.

The kiss probably meant no more than a reflex, but, in that moment, Katherine knew she was going to love this man, swine or not. He would be her husband by the new year, or she would die trying.

*****

CHAPTER TWO

He was a Viking chick magnet...

Bolthor was being overrun with women.

They accosted him in every manner and place they could. One even tried to enter the privy with him. A man was not safe in any nook or cranny of the keep, where all sane persons must needs stay till the ice storm outside died down. He had taken to sleeping with two wolfhounds in a separate sleeping closet near the hearth, which was hot as Muspell with the huge yule logs they kept putting on the fires.

He had cajoled and then threatened Alinor to call off her jackals, to no avail. Finally, he'd had to tell the women themselves in no uncertain terms that he was not interested, not even if they threw in some free bedsport as an enticement. Undaunted, the fickle women just turned their attention to other prey...uh, men...about the hall.

The only one not participating in the chase was the irksome Kate, who scarce spoke to him since calling him godly handsome two nights past. When she did deign to address him, it was to make some sarcastic remark. One time he had even asked her, "Has no one ever told you that sarcasm ill-suits a fine lady?" To which she had replied with this enticing remark, "I have been a lady for fifteen years and three husbands. Now, I choose to be something else." He wanted to ask what she meant by that, but he would not for fear that she might actually give him an honest answer which would make her even more tempting.

And, yea, the black-haired witch of uncommon beauty was tempting, even with her sharp tongue, even with those four bratlings of hers who clung to him like barnacles. And the woman actually thought he was good of looks! Was she dimsighted or lackwitted? He was flattered, despite himself.

In any case, it was one thing to tell a herd of women to Begone! and quite another to risk offending little mites who only wanted the company of an adult male. Like now, little John sat on his lap taking a nap. Twelve-year-old Matthew was polishing his third-best sword on the promise that Bolthor would give him lessons later.

"Will you not tell us another story?" five-year-old Luke asked, a thumb going immediately back into his mouth. He was a nervous boy, unsure of himself. Bolthor suspected he had been mistreated by his father, the second husband of the witch who referred to her husbands and most men as swines. Not necessarily with beatings, but harsh words and demeaning criticism.

"I have already told you three dragon sagas, two troll poems, and an ode to brave boys," Bolthor said, ruffling the child's unruly hair. He must have escaped his mother's comb that morn.

"But we like them ever so much," nine-year-old Mark interjected. Mark tried to appear more grown-up, but he hung on Bolthor's words same as the smaller ones.

"Are they bothering you?" Kate said, coming up behind him.

He turned, carefully, so as not to disturb the sleeping boy in his lap.

Her deep blue eyes rested on the child, then shot up to his face. The expression on her face was unreadable. Dismay, appreciation, surprise...he could not tell. Mayhap a combination of all three.

"Nay, they do not bother me."

Her creamy skin flushed.

"Matthew, take Mark and Luke outside. The men are going for more firewood, and the children will be permitted to ride in the sleigh. Make sure you bundle them up good."

After the children left in a flurry of excitement and quick hugs and kisses of thanks for this indulgence, she remained, wringing her hands nervously in front of her. If only she knew how her actions called attention to her bosom, clearly outlined by her belted gunna!

"What ails ye, wench?" he inquired.

Her upper lip curled at his deliberate choice of words.

He barely suppressed a grin.

"I do not think it wise to encourage my children so."

He arched an eyebrow in question.

"They yearn for a father...or leastways a man in their household. If they grow attached to you, well, when you go off to...well, when you leave, they will be bereft."

He did not need her to explain what she meant. She referred to him not taking her to wife, but instead one of the other women...or no woman at all.

"Is that how they felt on the death of their fathers?"

She released a snort of disgust before she could stop herself. "My husbands were rarely home and when they were, they could not be bothered with bratlings. Nay, they would rather be off gambling, drinking and fornicating at the royal orgies."

"They are fine boys, Kate. Your husbands must have been blind." Blind where you were concerned, too, my beautiful lady.

"Do you want me to take John?"

He glanced down at the sleeping boy and shook his head. "No need to awaken him. Sit down. You are making me nervous, fidgeting so."

She muttered something under her breath and sank down to the bench beside him. Not too close, but close enough for him to smell the lavender of her soap.

"You smell good," he remarked.

Her gaze which had been centered somewhere beneath his chin but above his belt jerked up, and the pink of her cheeks darkened. "Dost tease me, rogue?"

He shook his head. "Nay, I know you are not in the running."

"The running?"

"Yea, the `Bolthor's Bride' lackbrained scheme of Alinor's."

A small smile tugged at her enticing lips and a dimple popped out to the left of her mouth. "What makes you think I am not...what did you call it?...in the running?"

He shrugged. "Mostly you ignore me, or prick me with sarcastic remarks. Does that sound like a woman on the hunt?"

"Woman on the hunt? Is that how you view the women that Alinor invited here?"

"How could I not? They ride my tail like a hunter on a boar's trail."

Again, the enticing dimple appeared. "Do not judge them so harshly. We live in a society which forces women into matrimony, lest they lose all. They...we...are desperate."

He cocked his head to the side. "What do you lose if you do not wed again...for a fourth time, I think Alinor said?"

"Everything." She sighed deeply as she reached over to brush some stray strands of hair off John's sleep-flushed face.

"Explain."

"I have a small estate...actually three small estates...passed to my sons, from their fathers, but they are nigh ruined. As poor as the holding are, there are those who would easily take them because of the lack of protection. In addition, I have made an enemy of King Edgar. He will order me to wed again. Soon. And I wager it will be with the most unsavory character, just for spite. Thus, I need a strong man, for protection, and one with coin, to replenish the Wickshire coffers."

"So, you hope to usurp the king's authority?"

"In a way."

"Exactly what did you do to offend the king?"

She grinned, and out came that blasted dimple, which he had the odd desire to lick. "He invited me to court...one of those invitations that could not be refused, and when I refused to attend one of his drunken feasts, he remarked that I was too old and unattractive for his guests anyways. And I said something about the size of his...manpart."

Bolthor grinned at her. "Yea, that would do it to offend any man, let alone a king."

She eyed him speculatively. "Are you in the market for a wife?"

For a brief moment, he considered lying to her. The woman was a tasty morsel. She would without a doubt make a good bedmate. But, nay, she...and her children...deserved more. "I will not wed again. Ever."

"Again?"

"Most people do not know, but I was married many years ago. When my wife, and two daughters, died, I vowed never to marry again, or have any other children. Thus far, I have kept that vow."

"That is ridiculous!"

"You would not think so if you knew the manner in which they passed to the other world, and, nay, I will not discuss this further."

She seemed about to argue, but then shrugged. "So be it. I will just have to find someone else."

"Someone else?" he sputtered out. Why that surprised him, he had no idea. Did he think she would give up her quest just because he was not available?"

"Yea. There are many men here who would suffice. Mayhap you could help me narrow the field down."

Holy Thor! She wants me to help her find a man to marry. "I do not think so."

She shrugged again and stood, preparing to take the now restless John in her arms.

"Just out of curiosity, who are these other men?"

"Finn Finehair, for one."

"Pffff! The man is so vain he trims his man-hairs," he said before he could hold his tongue.

Katherine's eyes widened at that news. "Well, vanity does not rule him out as a good protector. Then I have been eyeing Sigurn the Destroyer. Certainly, he has a fine record for fighting."

"But have you ever smelled his breath?" Bolthor scrooched up his nose with distaste. "Smells like gammelost, it does. And he rarely bathes."

"Well, I never heard of body odors being cause to exclude a groom. Surely, there is naught you can find wrong with Bjorn the Pole. Though what an odd name for a man!"

Bolthor could not help but grin.

"What?"

"The pole referred to is his sizeable...um, pole."

She made a huffing sound of disgust. She had John in her arms now and was patting his back as he whined in his half asleep state.

Bolthor rose, too, and was about to go outside and help gather firewood. A keep this size needed an endless supply to last through the winter.

"Before I leave I would leave this thought with you. Not that I have offered myself to you...I am still assessing the market, but know this, Bolthor. My loss may be your greatest mistake."

Long after she was gone, and he was out in the biting cold, her words haunted him. He already felt the loss.

That evening, annoyed for some reason by Kate flitting around, talking to one knight or hesir after another, Bolthor stood and announced that he had a new poem to recite to the crowds in the Dragonstead great hall. "Hear one and all, this is the saga of `Fickle Women'."

"Women are fickle, that is a fact.
They knock on your heart, then attack.
It started in the Garden of Eden with Eve so supple.
'Twas she who lured Adam with that sinful apple.
Once men surrender, the women wander.
Lots more better men, over yonder.
With swaying hips, they jiggle a breast.
Make a man think that he is the best.
Once they have them, meek and mild,
Off they go in pursuit of men so wild.
Here is the moral of this ode:
Never let a woman turn you into a pet toad."

Despite the cheers of the crowd, he knew immediately that his poem was a mistake. He never should have underestimated the wiliness of a thwarted woman.

Kate, now up at the head table, whispered in Alinor's ear.

Alinor grinned like a cat who had swallowed all the cream and stood, "Great news! Kate tells me that she has a talent for poems, too."

The crowd burst into enthusiastic applause, encouraging her to put aside shyness and share her talent with them. Hah! This woman had not been shy a day of her life.

Kate stood and glanced his way, batting her eyelashes as if in apology.

For what?

He soon found out.

"Men, men, men!
When will they learn?
Women know what they do when out of sight.
They spit, they swear, they belch,
They gamble, lie, and break wind,
They swive, swive, swive.

And all the while, the miscreants
Leave wives and sweetlings at home.
Weeping with loneliness, sad of heart.

Hah!

Hear me well, all you errant men.
Methinks you would be surprised to learn
What the mice are doing whilst the cat is away."

The men in the hall seemed stunned into silence, but the ladies were hooting and cheering with glee.

A red-faced Bolthor looked at Kate with new eyes, and began to ponder, Just how ironclad is my vow?

*****

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

"He is the one," Katherine declared.

"Are you sure?" Alinor asked.

"There are so many men to choose from," Eadyth pointed out. "The wisest course would be to take your time and meet them all."

"Bolthor is the one I want," Katherine insisted.

"Some would say his skald skills make him an object of humor, not desire," Alinor said in a kindly fashion. "Do his poems not bother you?"

Katherine frowned. "Why would they?"

"To put it plainly, they stink."

A gasp was Katherine's answer to that remark. "Surely you jest. His poems are wonderful. 'Tis one of the things I like best about him."

Alinor and Eadyth exchanged looks of surprise.

"And what are the other things you like about him?" Eadyth inquired.

"He is good with children."

"Ahhhh," both Alinor and Eadyth said, acknowledging that fondness for children was a great attribute for a husband, especially when the children were not his.

"And what else?" Alinor prodded.

"There is a sorrow deep inside him that calls to my women's sympathies." Katherine placed a hand over her heart, just thinking about it.

"There is?" Alinor's eyebrows were raised with disbelief. "Other than his recent bout of verse mood blockage, I have rarely seen Bolthor sad of spirit."

"Oh, 'tis there, of that I am certain. No doubt due to the tragic death of his wife and daughter."

"What?" Alinor and Eadyth exclaimed as one.

"In all the years I have known Bolthor, ne'er have I met a wife or daughter, or heard mention of such," Alinor mused.

"'Twas a long, long time ago, and apparently their manner of death was soul searing."

"Hmmm." Eadyth put a fingertip to her mouth in contemplation. "It makes sense, though. 'Tis not normal for a Viking man to go unwed for so long."

"Do not mention it to anyone," Katherine cautioned. "If he has kept it secret, he must not want others to know."

"And yet he told you," Alinor said, also with a forefinger tapping her closed lips.

"Of course, I am no longer a young woman, and I now know that appearance is the least important attribute for a husband, but, by the saints!, the man is bone-melting handsome." Katherine nigh swooned just picturing Bolthor in her mind.

"Good Lord!" Alinor remarked.

"Yea, Bolthor most definitely must be the one for you." Eadyth patted Katherine on the hand.

"Now, we must needs come up with a plan," Alinor added.

"I thought you already had a plan...Bolthor's Bride," Katherine said.

"Yea, but now that we have settled on exactly who that bride will be, we must needs have a new plan to snare the man, without his realizing that he is being snared."

"I see," Katherine said, though she truly did not. "Keep in mind, Bolthor says he will not wed again."

Alinor and Eadyth both laughed.

"What?"

"Surely you know that smart women know how to change a man's mind," Alinor explained.

"They do?" Katherine felt out of her depth with these two wily women. "How?"

"First off, you must avoid Bolthor, but not be out of sight. Let him see you with other men. Let him think you are interested, or even intimate, with other men." This was Alinor's advice. "Men always want what they cannot have."

"It sounds so...devious."

"Hah! I pretended I was a witch one time," Alinor said. "Now that is devious."

"That is nothing. I pretended to be dead." Eadyth laughed in remembrance. "Believe you me, that brought Eirik to heel in an instant. Then, too, I pretended to be an aged crone before that."

Not to be outdone, Alinor said, "I tied Tykir to a chair, by his own hair. Naked."

"But do not think that women are the only ones to play this game. Eirik told me one time that the best way for a woman to make a man's staff stand to attention was for her to stand on her head, naked."

Alinor hooted her opinion of that lackwit theory.

Katherine clicked her mouth shut when she realized she was gaping.

"You must learn to tease, subtly," Alinor suggested. "By dress, for example." She pinched in the waist of Katherine's gunna, then showed her how to pleat the fabric just up to and under her breasts so that her waist, the flare of her hips, and her bosom were outlined.

"I would appear wanton." Katherine had never dressed in such a provocative manner. Why would she? She had been wed more times than she would have chosen, to men she would as soon repel as attract.

"That is the point," Eadyth said. "But not in a blatant manner. Tease, but do not flaunt."

Katherine let out a whooshy exhale, not sure if she could manage this game of seduction.

"That is not all," Alinor went on.

Wonderful!

"When you do come into his presence, by accident, brush against him, then blush and apologize profusely," Alinor suggested.

"She could even touch him in passing...his thigh, a buttock, even his manpart," Eadyth added.

"Yea, that would be good."

"How subtle would that be?" Katherine observed.

"Believe me, you could do it in such a way as to appear by chance," Alinor said. "Stand over here, Eadyth, and pretend you are Bolthor. We will demonstrate."

Eadyth stood stiff as a board, frowning, while Alinor brushed past her, carrying a bundle of linens which she almost dropped, but in the process of balancing herself, let her fingertips brush across the groin area. Immediately, she said, "My apologies, Bolthor," and batted her eyelashes innocently.

Several other scenarios were played out. Alinor being pushed against Bolthor in a crowd and "accidentally" grabbing his buttock. Bolthor reaching for a sweetmeat on her tray, which she jerked at the last second, causing his hand to caress her breast.

"Of course, if all else fails, bed the man, good and well," Eadyth advised.

"There is one bedsport trick I have learned," Alinor said, "which is guaranteed to make a man's eyes roll back in his head."

Eadyth and Katherine were all ears, not to mention a few of the passing maids.

In the end, they were all laughing like lackwits.

Bolthor did not stand a chance.

Katherine hoped.

*****

Viking men aren't as dumb as you might think...

Watching from across the room where they were cleaning their weapons, Eirik and Tykir said as one, "Uh-oh!"

"Methinks you are in big trouble, Bolthor," Eirik elaborated.

"Huh? Why me?"

"My wife has that sly look in her eyes," Tykir noted. "That usually means she is up to no good...especially regarding men...or me in particular."

"Why is it not you this time?" Bolthor asked.

"Because it is Katherine they are advising, and everyone knows that Katherine wants you." Eirik continued polishing his sword as he spoke.

"Everyone does not know that," Bolthor protested, putting aside the long knife he had been honing with a hand-held whetstone. "She is checking out every unattached male here."

"Keep telling yourself that." Tykir laughed at what he must consider Bolthor's naiveness. He tested the sharpness of his sword by slicing a thin sliver off the edge of the table.

"Did I ever tell you my 1Ode to Sly Women'?"

Tykir groaned before catching himself. "You have certainly gotten over your verse mood famine," he grumbled.

"Perchance Katherine is the cause of his new wordiness," Eirik teased.

"Hear one and all, this is the `Ode to Sly Women'," Bolthor began.

"Most men think they are so smart
And indeed they are,
But put them in a room with women,
And all wit goes out the smoke hole.

Women are sly and not above tricks
When it comes to catching a man.
Beware of swaying hips, jiggling breasts,
Bouncing backsides, slippery tongues,
Proffered kisses, lewd talk, sloe eyes,
Sweet scented skin, low-cut gunnas,
Exposed ankles..."

Tykir cut him off with a laugh. "Well, you certainly covered all points with that poem. In truth, it caused my juices to boil. Methinks I will go drag Alinor to our bedchamber and see how sly she can be."

"Good idea, brother," Eirik said.

They both got up, their weapon care forgotten.

Bolthor was left alone to stare across the hall at the sly woman who was deliberately not trying to seduce him.

*****

CHAPTER THREE

Oops, they did it again...

Two sennights here at Dragonstead, two days till Christmas, and Katherine felt as if she was making no progress in her hunt for a new husband.

Katherine was in the storage room gathering supplies for Alinor, the first private moment she'd had since her arrival. If Bolthor did not soon offer some encouragement, she would have to direct her attentions elsewhere. Despite all of Alinor and Eadyth's claims to the contrary, there were some men who were just not seduceable.

Wearily she began to climb up the ladder to the high shelf. With a basket dangling from one arm, she began to gather candles of all sizes, smelling of bees wax, and soaps scented with cloves, roses, even mint. Mayhap she was distracted by all her sniffing because she had not heard Bolthor enter the room, not even the door slamming behind him.

"Milady! What do you up there?" Bolthor asked with dismay.

She jerked up, the ladder teetered, and she fell, arms flailing, with soap and candles. "I was fetching candles and soap," she said.

"I was fetching more wine," he said at the same time.

And they both realized in the same instant how close they were. Katherine closed her eyes to prevent herself from lowering her face even more so that their lips would meet and.

She moaned.

Or was it Bolthor?

Bolthor's hands cupped her face, and he was drawing her mouth down to his. Down, down, down, her head descended bit by bit. A white heat passed through her body, from her brain to her breasts and woman's place, and most definitely her lips which yearned for his touch.

It was a molding, changing kiss of many patterns. At first. But then, it was not so gentle. He became rapacious, forcing her mouth open with his thrusting tongue. Wet and noisy, they went at each other like starved souls. He sucked her tongue into his mouth. She nipped his bottom lip.

"Kate, Kate, Kate," he said once when he dragged his mouth from hers. His hot breath fanned her face. In truth, every little thing he did, even staring at her, fanned her woman flames, making her yearn for something she had ne'er experienced before.

"Do not stop. For the love of Mary, do not stop," she said, forcing him to resume the kiss.

He groaned. "So long, it has been so long." Then he rolled over so she was on the bottom. Somehow her legs had parted and he lay cradled against her hips with his manpart aligned with her womanpart.

A ripping sound and she saw the front of her gunna torn, and her bare breasts exposed to his feasting eyes and exploring fingers and then his suckling mouth. She did not care. Keening, she arched her hips up with the pulsing pleasure which was so intense it was almost pain. What started as a tingling between her legs soon turned into a knot of overwhelming desire, a desire that pulled and twisted deep inside her.

Her hands dug into his shoulders. Not satisfied, her arms wrapped around him, hands sweeping over his back and waist, even his buttocks, wanting so much, wanting him even closer than he already was. "Please," she kept saying, and she knew not what she was pleading for.

"You are so sweet. My sweet Kate," Bolthor was saying in between kisses and hot caresses.

His hands reached down and swept the hem of her gunna higher, then higher. He gasped then. "You are wearing no undergarments, Kate," he accused, as if she did not already know that.

Blushing, she informed him, "I washed my small clothes this morn. They are drying in my bedchamber."

More information than the man needed, but she did not want him to think she had planned this meeting and came prepared.

He was fumbling with the ties of his braies, then she felt his naked staff at her woman's portal. But did he enter her then? Nay. Instead, he spread her legs wider and stared at her, down there. Satisfied with what he saw, he used a forefinger to flutter against a part of her she had not even known existed. She started to scream at the intensity of pleasure that erupted, but he caught her scream with his mouth and resumed deep tongue kissing.

His hands grabbed her knees, spread her yet wider, pushed her ankles up nigh to her buttocks, and then he entered her with a deep, long thrust. And all the while, he continued to flutter her down there. Rocking her gently, she saw stars behind her closed eyelids.

Her woman's sheath was convulsing around his staff as he began long slow strokes, in and out, in and out. Once she reached one plateau of inner spasms, new ones started. Over and over, she was peaking. If she were not so dazed by everything that was happening, she might have been embarrassed, but she could no more stop what was happening, or want to, than stop the sun from rising or the winds from blowing.

This went on for what seemed like forever, the strokes becoming shorter and harder, punishing almost, but then Bolthor make a raw sound deep in his throat, arced his neck back, one eye closed, and slammed into her one last time, spilling his seed inside her molten channel.

As he lay panting on her in the aftermath, smaller and smaller clasps of her inner muscles continued till she too lay panting and well-sated.

Finally, when he raised his head to stare down at her, the expression on his face already turning bleak, she put a fingertip on his mouth and said, "I did not plan this, Bolthor. No matter what you may think of me, I did not set out deliberately to seduce you in here." Mayhap, outside, but not in here.

He shook his head. "'Twas my fault. A mistake, but still my mistake. I should have had more control over--"

"Nay! Do not demean this beautiful thing that happened betwixt us. Leastways, it was beautiful for me."

"Me, too," he said, but he did not appear happy about that fact. And he especially did not appear happy when that soft part of him which was still inside her began to grow not so soft.

She whimpered, wanting to move against him to indicate how much she wanted him again, but knowing he would resist yet another "mistake."

Instead, he groaned and traced her bottom lip with pad of his thumb. "May the gods save me! I cannot resist you." With those words, he made love to her again, and this time it was slow and deliberate and very, very pleasurable. More and more, she was thinking that she and Bolthor were well-matched.

But what would tomorrow bring?

*****

Dumb men say dumb things...

He avoided her all that day and the next.

In return, a confused and disappointed Kate also avoided him, as did her children, except for five-year-old Luke who approached him once when his mother was helping Alinor in the kitchen. "Mother says we must not bother you anymore. Do we bother you?"

Bolthor tousled the boy's hair and said, "Nay, you do not bother me, but you must needs obey your mother."

The boy walked away, feet dragging with dejection, and Bolthor felt lower than a troll.

Something needed to be done. So, he pulled Kate aside after the evening meal. "We must talk," he said.

"Must we?" the stubborn wench replied, pulling her arm out of his grasp.

"About yesterday."

She arched her eyebrows, not about to make this easy for him.

"I have always taken precautions with women." Spilling his seed outside the body was not a perfect method, but better than none. "I did not with you. You must tell me if there are...consequences." The minute the words left his mouth, he knew he'd misspoken.

"Consequences?" she nigh shrieked. "Is that what they are calling babes these days?"

"Shhhh." He tried to pull her farther along the corridor where no one could overhear.

Once again, she wrenched her arm away from him. "Know this, you fool, if there are consequences, I will take care of them myself, just as I have handled every other consequence in my life. Do not worry yourself that I will makes claims on you."

He wanted to apologize for his ill-chosen words. He wanted to say how much her giving herself to him mattered. He wanted to tell her that he might just want her to make claims on him. He wanted to tell her so much.

But he did not, and that was his biggest mistake of all.

*****

Was it Christ in the manger, or dog in the manger?...

By Christmas Eve, Katherine had given up on Bolthor, and that meant that she truly needed to find another mate amongst those here for Christmas at Dragonstead.

A wild boar and two hogs were roasting on spits for the feasts to come. Not to mention fifty chickens from Wickshire. The cook and scullery maids worked since dawn to prepare a wide assortment of foods and delicacies...and to kill and pluck those chicken. The great hall smelled of evergreen boughs which had been arranged on walls, mantles, and table tops. Women, married and not, herself included, were kissed numerous times under the mistletoe that had been hung over every doorway. Musicians played lutes. Young maidens sang.

It was a merry, joyous time. Except for Katherine who was beginning to feel desperate. She could not think about Bolthor and what had happened betwixt them. How could he disregard that bond that she at least knew they shared? Much as she believed that were fated to be together, she did not have the liberty of time to convince him. As soon as a longship could travel through the fjord, she would be traveling back to Britain...and to the king's orders, whatever they might be.

Taking a long drink of mead from her cup, she turned to her dining companion on her right, Finn Finehair. Of all the unmarried men she had met thus far, he was her first choice...after Bolthor. "Do you have a home here in the Norselands?" she inquired.

He shook his head. "I come from Jorvik. My father was a Viking merchant, but my mother was of good Saxon stock. I grew up on a small property of my mother's outside the trading port. My sister and her family reside there now."

Hmmm. That made him an even better choice than some Vikings. He would not be averse to living in Britain. "Have you ever wed? Do you have children?" Katherine blushed at being blunt in her questions. "Forgive me. You do not need to answer. Betimes I am too curious."

"Not at all," he said, stroking his too perfect mustache. His hair was black and long with colored beads woven into some of the strands, matched by an impeccably trimmed mustache and a short beard which he had trained into a fork. With no stray eyebrow hairs bridging his nose, with teeth as white as snow, with fingernails clipped and clean, she could very well believe the rumor that he also clipped his chest and man hairs. "I have never been married, though I was betrothed at one time. Sweet Millicent died afore the wedding of a lung fever. And I have no children that I know of."

"Let us be frank," she said then, deciding that 'twas best to be honest up front, "I am in need of a husband. I have four sons and three small estates that need protection and coin to replenish their stores. They...we...would be a good investment for the right man."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Ah, Kate my dearling, I do love a woman who speaks her mind."

"And?"

"I might be interested, but when I wed it will be for life. I would want a wife who offers me other things as well."

"What mean you?"

"I want a bed partner, as well as a business partner."

"Oh." She felt her face heat again. "I think I could provide that." Especially since her introduction yesterday to the pleasures that could be had in bedsport.

"But in return I must tell you I am excellent in the bed sport."

Even if he does say so himself. Stop it, Katherine. Stop being so picky.

"It is all in the mustache," he elaborated.

"Huh?"

He grinned and twirled the ends of his mustache. "Bristly hair. Friction down there." He glanced pointedly at her lap.

Oh, good Lord! Once she was able to speak without laughing, she teased, "Actually, I might want to test those waters for myself. Men can be disappointments in that arena as well as women, you know."

Finn laughed again, then whispered in her ear, "Well said, milady." Then he kissed her. Right there in front of one and all.

As far as kisses went, it was more than passable. In fact, before being kissed by Bolthor, she would have said it was superior. His breath was fresh, his lips talented in shaping hers, his tongue a gentle intrusion in her mouth. When he pulled away, he smiled at her and put an arm around her shoulder, tugging her against his side. "I think we may very well suit, milady. Very well. Will you come to my bed furs tonight?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. I need to proceed cautiously." What she really meant, though, was that she needed to make sure she was not with child. Not that she would then go to Bolthor if she was, but it would be dishonorable to Finn to bring another man's babe into his bed furs.

"Is it Bolthor?"

"Nay, it is not." Not anymore.

He nodded. "I will wait then, but not too long, sweetling. I am a virile man."

And full of himself. This is not a man who would be faithful to a wife, much as he proclaims marriage for life and wanting a good sex partner. Can I be satisfied with that if he protects my home and my children?

To seal their near-pact, she leaned up and kissed him lightly. She could tell that her initiative surprised and delighted him.

It was only then that she noticed Bolthor glaring at them from the next table. He had no right, of course, but even so, she knew how she would feel if he sat there kissing another woman.

So she just shrugged, as if to say to him, The die is cast.

Bolthor stood.

She cringed.

Someone yelled, "Give us a saga, Bolthor. Ha, ha, ha!"

Bolthor appeared about to say something rude to the man who had clearly drunk too much mead. But then he just turned on his heels and left the hall.

*****

Did she hit the nail on the head?...

On the afternoon of Christmas day, Kate came up to Bolthor where he was playing the board game hnefatafl with Tykir and Eirik.

"May I speak with you for a moment?" she inquired with extreme politeness.

Tykir and Eirik grinned at her too-cordial tone and Bolthor's obvious discomfort.

"Excuse me. I will be right back." Now, why did he say that he would be right back? Kate would no doubt take that as an insult, as if she were not worthy of more than a little of his time. He who was supposed to be an expert with words was certainly making a mess of them lately.

When they had stepped a short distance away, she turned abruptly and told him. "You have no reason for concern. There will be no babe."

Bolthor blinked his one eye repeatedly to stem the tears that welled there suddenly. He had not realized how much he had wanted his seed to take in her. Then he would have had an excuse to break the vow. How pathetic was that?

"Not being pregnant...that is good, is it not?" He reached a hand out and caressed her cheek.

She shoved it away. There were tears in her eyes, too.

"Is it to be Finn then?"

"Mayhap."

"Be careful."

"Whether I am careful or not is no longer your concern, if it ever was."

"I do care." More than care, truth be told.

She said a one-word obscenity that her husbands had used on occasion.

He grinned, not at the word, but at her embarrassment over having said it aloud.

"I wish you well, Kate. I really do." Even if it feels as if a vice is squeezing my heart.

She shrugged. "Some of us must make our paths ourselves. Some of us do not have the freedom to wallow in the pain of our pasts."

He inhaled sharply. "I do not do that."

"Methinks you have been using that vow as a shield from life's blows much too long. But I cannot help you there. Good-bye, Bolthor."

And she walked away.

*****

CHAPTER FOUR

The best laid plans of mice and conniving women...

It was late Christmas night, and most everyone was asleep...on pallets, in sleep closets, on the sweet rushes, in the few separate upper bedchambers. All except Alinor, Eadyth and their husbands who were sipping at mugs of mead after a long yule celebration which would go on till the new year.

"They are behaving like idiots," Alinor said.

"They need our help," Eadyth said.

"What's wrong with Finn Finehair?" Eirik wanted to know.

Eadyth slapped her husband's hand which was reaching for her bottom, yet again. "Nothing, but he is not right for Kate. "

"Didst know that Bolthor was married at one time and lost his wife and little girl in some tragic manner?" Alinor asked Tykir.

He nodded. "He mentioned it once a dozen and more years ago, and never since."

"And?" Alinor prodded.

"And nothing. He told me they died."

"And you did not ask how or when or any details about them?"

Tykir looked at Alinor with horror. "Why would I do that?"

"Because we might have a clue as to why he has never married again." Alinor spoke slowly to her husband as if he were thick-headed and dull-witted. Then, she addressed Eadyth. "How like a man! Tykir could spend hours talking with a passing traveler and say naught but that the man came from Hedeby and is a trader in Baltic amber, whilst I could spend five minutes with the same man and tell you his name, if he is wed, how many children he has, what is the latest fashion in Britain these days, and the price of dried venison in the Rus lands."

Tykir winked at Eirik, as if to say, Women!

Eirik shook his head fiercely from side to side. "I do not think we should interfere in Bolthor's love life."

"I think we must interfere, husband," Eadyth insisted, an odd light of warning in her eyes.

Eirik of the straying hands was no fool. He knew that particular look meant behave or get no bedplay. "Can we go to our bed furs now, Eadyth?"

"Yea, Alinor, let us follow. I have a yen to have my yule log stoked." Tykir yawned widely.

"Tykir! I swear you get cruder by the day." Alinor chastised her husband, but her dancing eyes told a different story.

"We must needs come up with a plan to get Bolthor and Kate away somewhere together for an extended time so they may sort things out themselves," Eadyth said.

"Uh-oh!" Tykir and Eirik exclaimed as one.

"Like that time you and I were locked in your bedchamber here, Tykir," Alinor reminded her husband.

"I was the one who locked us in," Tykir proudly proclaimed.

"But I was the one who tied you to a chair with your hair, naked," Alinor added gleefully.

Tykir did not look one bit embarrassed, even when his brother asked him for details.

"Won't Finn be upset about losing Kate?" Eadyth asked no one in particular.

"Hah! Introduce him to that new maid with the swishing arse, and he will forgive you anything," Tykir said, then immediately realized he had fallen into their trap.

Alinor laid out a plan then. When she was done, the two women were smiling with satisfaction, and the two men had their faces in their hands with dismay.

Bolthor and Kate were in for a big surprise.

*****

Nudity: nature's aphrodisiac...

Two days later, Katherine awakened in the middle the night in the luxury of a warm bed in a guest bedchamber. This rare extravagance of sleeping alone in a bed without worry for her children was a much-appreciated gift from her friend Alinor.

The fire had died down, and despite sleeping in the nude, Katherine was not cold, having furs both above and below her body. She stretched and was about to turn over and return to sleep when she heard a muffled sound on the other side of the small room. That must be what had awakened her.

She lit a candle and stood, uncaring of her nudity. It was probably a mouse rustling the floor rushes.

"Eeeeek!"

It was not a mouse. It was Bolthor. A naked Bolthor who had been gagged and stripped bare and trussed like a chicken. The only thing he wore was his eye patch.

"What...what are you doing here?" she squeaked out, diving for a bed fur to cover herself.

"Mofghxpt," was his answer. She assumed it meant, "Untie me."

She searched for her bed rail, but could not find it. In fact, her gunna, under garments, hose and every other cloth were missing as well. With foreboding, she wrapped a huge bed fur around her and walked over to Bolthor. Trying her best not to look at his nudity and hold onto her bed furs, it took her an uncommon long time to untie the cloth which had been used to gag him.

"Will you drop the bloody fur and untie me, for Thor's sake?" he demanded immediately. "At this rate, I will be a gray-beard afore I am free."

"Do not yell at me."

"I will do more than yell if you do not forsake modesty and untie these ropes."

Katherine did, in fact, drop the fur and work on his ties but not before telling him not to look which prompted a snort from Bolthor.

When he was free, the first thing Bolthor did was stomp to the door. It was locked. He banged on it and hollered, "Open this damn door." No one responded, even though he kept at it for at least a half hour and had probably awakened everyone in the keep.

"Is this someone's idea of a jest?" Katherine asked from under the bed furs where she was burrowed once again.

"Look at this." Bolthor was walking around the room, resigned for now to being imprisoned with her. "There's enough firewood to last for days. And food. And ale. And there's a chamber pot behind that screen. We could be kept here--"

"--for days," Katherine squeaked out.

Bolthor stood at the foot of the bed, hands on hips, glaring at her. "Did you plan this?"

At first Katherine didn't hear what he had said, her mind too dazed by seeing the giant of a man standing before her, his manpart and everything else fully exposed. And scars...Blessed Lord...the man was covered with long-healed battle wounds, including one long one which ran from his breastbone across his abdomen and belly and down to the opposite hip.

"Could you spare some time from ogling my body to answer my question, wench?"

"Huh?" She raised her eyes to his blazing one.

"I asked if you planned this."

"Planned what?"

He growled and swept a hand to encompass the two of them and the locked door. "Everyone saw you and Alinor and Eadyth plotting some mischief. Is this your plan for trapping me into wedlock?"

"You are an idiot!" She sat up straight, pulling the bed furs up to her shoulders. "You are an insulting, vain, arrogant son of a toad." She could see by his flushed face that he was reconsidering his insinuation, but she was not about to let him apologize. "In truth, how do I know that you did not plan this?"

"Why would I?"

"Mayhap you are jealous of Finn."

"Why would I be jealous of Finn?"

She shrugged. "His mustache?"

He frowned. "Why would I envy his ridiculous mustache?"

She repeated what Finn had told her about mustaches and pleasuring a woman's nether parts.

Bolthor's one eye about bugged out.

"Or you may be jealous because Finn and I are practically betrothed."

He bit his bottom lip to prevent himself from saying something rash...or more rash than he already had. "Practically? Why have you not announced your betrothal already?"

"I want to test his skills in the bed furs first." I cannot believe I said that. Oooooh, this man is irksome beyond belief. He makes me say the most outrageous things. But she was not about to back down.

"Finn is not for you."

"That is not for you to say."

"I am only trying to be helpful."

"Pffff!"

"If you would listen to logic--"

"Can you not cover yourself?"

"With what?"

"I do not care. Your hands."

A slow grin crept over his lips, a grin she refused to succumb to. "They are too small."

At first she did not understand. When she did, she said, "You wish!"

"Move over," he said then, approaching the side of the bed.

"Why?"

"Because if I am going to be locked in her, at least I can get some sleep."

"You are not sleeping in this bed with me."

"Wouldst care to make a wager on that, milady? There is no where else to sleep."

"Sleep on the floor."

"I have an idea. You sleep on the floor, and I will sleep in the bed."

"You are not being chivalrous."

"Chivalry is for foolish Saxon knights. Vikings prefer action. Like this." In a blink, he had the top fur flipped off of her, shoved her roughly to the other side, slipped his body in, then covered them both. He faced away from her sputtering self.

When he remained silent for a long time, she asked in a small voice, "Why are you being so hateful?"

"Go to sleep."

"I mean, I had naught to do with this nonsense."

"Go to sleep."

"Where did you get that big scar?"

"Go to sleep."

"Do you have a home?"

"Go to sleep."

"What have I done to merit such ill-favor?"

With a snarl of disgust, he rolled over and glared at her. "What have you done? I will tell you what you have done. You have turned my life upside down. First, you set your sights on me for husband, against my will. Then you sic your children on me so I will feel guilty about abandoning them. Then you seduce me on the floor of the supply room. Then you attempt to lure me with jealousy."

With each of his charges, her "Oh" of outrage rose louder and louder. Finally, she sat up, oblivious to the slipping bed fur, and shoved him hard, almost knocking him off the bed. "You blowhard! I ne'er seduced you. You seduced me. And a poor performance it was, too."

"Hah! Those screams of yours were of pleasure, not outrage. You begged me for it, milady." He stopped cold, gaping at her. "By the runes! You have pretty breasts."

She looked down, saw her nipples hard and pointy with arousal. She had not realized she was getting aroused. With a cry of distress, she pulled the bed fur up again, plopped down, then turned away from the beast.

"What? Now you are angry because I give you a compliment."

"Do not speak to me ever again."

"Mayhap I should write a poem about them. Yea, that is a good idea," he said, completely ignoring her order not to speak. "Hear one and all, this is the `Ode to Kate's Breasts'."

"Once was a lady from Britain
With whom all the men were smitten.
She thought it was her land they coveted
But 'twas more like her body they wanted.
In truth, her nipples were tasty budlings
Red as a rose and hard for sucklings.
With breasts so pretty, like swollen peaches,
The lady had no trouble attracting male leeches."

"That was not funny."

"It was not meant to be. Your breasts would tempt a priest to sin."

A tingle of pleasure rippled through Katherine that he liked her breasts. "Speaking of priests, didst know that one is arriving within days from a nearby estate, once it stops snowing. Mayhap Finn and I will be married then."

That shut up the irksome oaf.

But he had gotten the last word in, so to speak, because her nipples were indeed hard and aching for a good suckling.

*****

The best kind of wake-up call...

Bolthor awakened in the middle of the night, refreshed from several hours of undisturbed sleep.

He should get up and put another log on the fire afore it died out, but it felt so warm and cozy under the bed furs. And a certain part of his body was liking Kate's body spooned up against his, one arm over his hip, her breath feathering against his back. Thank the gods he was on his own side of the bed, lest she awaken and accuse him of accosting her.

Carefully, he eased himself out of the bed and covered Kate again, but not before taking a good long look at her naked body. A man would have to be half-dead not to want her, and he was nowhere near half-dead.

He placed another log on the fire, trying not to make noise and awaken the sleeping beauty. Then he went behind the screen and relieved himself in the chamber pot, hoping that would tamp down his thickening. It didn't. Swishing some water about his mouth, he spat it out, then climbed into the far side of the bed, Kate's side, away from her tempting body which was hogging his side.

He slept, and this time awakened as dawn approached. His new predicament had him alternately smiling and grimacing. This time he was on his back, his arms thrown over his head. Kate was snuggled up against him, with her face resting on his chest. But the worst thing...or best thing, depending on one's perspective...was that her little hand was wrapped around his big cock...big, as in major thickening.

She was going to kill him if he did not wake her soon.

"Kate," he said softly.

"Hmmm." She snuggled closer and her hand tightened.

His thickening thickened.

"Kate, wake up, dearling."

"Hmmm. What?" she murmured.

Her breath against his chest hairs also caused more thickening. Holy Thor! He was going to explode soon with all this thickening. 'Twould make a good poem, "Ode to a Norseman's Thickening," he thought with morbid, self-mocking humor.

He sensed the moment she awakened. It was a slow process. First, her eyelashes fluttered against his chest. Then, there was a small gasp. Then, her hand loosened on his cock. But, before she could leap away in shock, he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up and over him so that she lay, breasts against chest, belly against belly, and her legs straddling his legs.

"I am so embarrassed," she said, hiding her face.

He kissed the top of her head. "Do not be embarrassed, sweetling. It was my pleasure."

She raised her head to stare at him. She had to be aware of his thickening as it pressed insistently against her belly.

"This is a mistake," she said.

"Or not."

"You tempt me sorely, Bolthor, but if I do this thing again, I will be cutting my chances with Finn."

He nodded.

"That is all? You nod, you say nothing?"

"My nod said it all."

"In other words, so be it? I cut my ties with Finn, then hang in the wind, waiting for the remote chance that another good man will come along. If it were only me, I would have no qualms...leastways, no insurmountable qualms. But I have children to consider."

"You missay me, Kate. My nod did not mean what you said. It meant surrender."

She frowned and tried to shove away from him.

He held tight, kissing her cheek, her hair, her shoulder, even her fingertips, wherever he could reach and escape her slaps.

"Surrender to what, you fool?"

"To you."

She stilled. "What does that mean?"

"It means I give up. You win. I am yours."

"Am I supposed to be flattered by that non-proposal?"

"'Tis just a statement of fact. Every soldier knows when to pick his battles and when to recognize defeat."

"I do not want to defeat you, Bolthor."

"I know, but I am just a simple, confused man who is finally seeing the light, thanks to you."

Hope sprang into her beautiful blue eyes. She was beginning to understand. "Say the words," she demanded.

"I love you, Katherine of Wickshire. Will you be my wife?"

She gulped and blinked rapidly to stem her tears. "I love you, too, Bolthor, and yea, I will gladly be your wife."

They kissed, and kissed, before Bolthor rolled them over so that she was flat on her back gazing up at him. With a twinkle in his one eyes, Bolthor asked in a sex-husky voice, "It's about that mustache claim of Finn's."

She tilted her head to the side in question.

"Wouldst like to see what a true Viking can do...without the mustache?"

"Hmmm. I am not sure."

He pinched her bottom.

"Oh, well, I guess I would."

"And whilst I am there exploring, wouldst like to see if I can find the famous Viking S-spot?"

Her answer, when it came, was a gurgle of shock and pleasure.

*****

Another Viking bites the dust...

Bolthor the Skald and Katherine of Wickshire were married by Father Ignatius on New Year's Eve before the hearth at Dragonstead. Actually, it was a ceremony that combined both Christian and Viking rituals.

Tykir and Alinor stood as witnesses for Bolthor. Eirik and Eadyth were witnesses for Katherine. The bride was given away by her four sons, who had been smiling for days at the prospect of Bolthor for a father.

Katherine wore a magnificent white wool gunna covered with a scarlet surcoat, both embroidered with green acanthus leaves. The garment was lent to her by Alinor, who was noted for the fine wool she wove from her many sheep. She wore no jewelry except for a thin gold chain from which dangled a heart-shaped amber pendant, a bride-gift from her husband-to-be. Also as part of her bride gift, Bolthor had surprised both her and all attending by his wealth and generosity. Odin's Lair, a small estate in Vestfold, a dozen chests of gold and amber from the days of amber hunting with Tykir, many ells of Samite silk, casks of wine and pledges of fealty from two dozen hesirs.

Bolthor looked handsome in the brown tunic and braies which had recently been gifted to him by Tykir and Alinor. At his side was scabbarded his second-best, pattern-welded sword, "Blood Friend."

For her groom gift to Bolthor, Katherine offered three estates in Northumbria, including Wickshire, all the meager furnishings, and three hundred chickens. She refused to explain the latter, except to Bolthor who howled with laughter.

With one hand each on the hilt of his sword, Bolthor and Katherine linked their other hands. Tykir and Eirik recited together: "We declare ourselves witnesses that Katherine of Wickshire and Bolthor of Odin's Lair, do bond themselves in lawful marriage. Do you both promise love, honor and fidelity as long as blood flows through your veins?"

They both said, "Yea."

Then began the brudh gumareid or bride-running, which was difficult being indoors. Still, Katherine lifted her gown up to her knees and raced for the stairs leading to the bridal chamber, chased by her new husband who beat her by a mere few steps. Grinning, he laid his sword across the bottom. Once she stepped over it, they would be officially wed.

In true Viking style, he then whacked her across her buttocks with the broad side of the sword...just to show who would be the master in this marriage. It was a traditional Viking jest, trollish to be sure, but not really serious.

Tykir surprised everyone by composing a poem in honor of his good friend Bolthor. "Hear one and all, this is the story of Bolthor the Thick-headed Warrior."

"This is the story of the far-famed Bolthor.
Over the years did he sample many a whore.
A great berserker he was in battle,
But good women he could not break to saddle.
A shield he placed afore his heart.
But then, no one said that he was smart.
Lo and behold, along came Kate.
Bolthor was old, but it was not too late.
She pulled, she pushed, she was a great tease.
But ne'er would she let him touch her woman's fleece.
But then a wise man known as Tie-keer
Locked up the two lackbrains with a leer.
They swived, they fought, then swived some more.
This is the stuff of Viking folklore.

The moral of this saga is: Tup more, talk less."

Everyone thought Tykir would make a great skald. To which he said something which could not be repeated, not even in the midst of rowdy Vikings.

At the end of the evening, when the bride and groom had retired to their "honey moon" chamber, and the other guests were high on mead and good cheer, Tykir and Eirik sat with their wives, discussing this and that.

"Who do you think will be next?" Alinor inquired.

"Your twins?" Tykir said to Eirik and Alinor.

"Sigrud and Sarah?" Alinor agreed.

"Nay, they are too young," Eirik protested fiercely of his twin daughters, the only children he and Eadyth had together.

Eadyth smiled, knowing they were eighteen, more than a marriageable age. Still, it would be more likely that Emma, Eirik's daughter by another woman, at twenty-five, would be the more likely bride. However, Emma who ran an orphanage in Jorvik had a mind of her own and claimed to have no interest in men. That would change when the right man came along.

"Your son John," Alinor said softly, taking one of Eadyth's hands in both of hers. John was Eadyth's illegitimate child. He was a handsome brooding man of twenty-six who resided at Hawks' Lair, almost a recluse. Everyone in the family worried about him. "Yea, we must make John our next project."

Eadyth remained silent, but her eyes affirmed how much that would mean to her.

Eirik and Tykir just groaned.

Women! Viking men had found through the ages that they could not live with them, as evidenced by their long months a-viking, but they for a certainty could not live without them.

Someone should warn John.

*****