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(These are the Irish proverbs that never made it into Love Me Tender, September, 1998. The sassy sayings take on an even greater humor when spouted continuously by an opinionated, harder-than-tacks heroine, who happens to be a stock trader known as "The Irish Barracuda," and by a fairy godfather who thinks he is Elvis reincarnated.

I must admit that, after reading over these old witticisms, I like some of them so much that they will probably end up in my future books.)

Bad as I like ye, it's worse without ye.

Love a dunghill, and you'll see no motes in it.

The bird that can sing and won't sing should be made to sing.

That's a spoon you'll sup sorrow with yet.

See that your own hearth is swept before you lift your neighbor's ashes.

A windy day is not good for thatching.

Better an ass that carries you than a horse that throws you.

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

Sweet is the wine but sour the payment (referring to women).

It's a bad hen that won't scratch herself.

You're as greedy as the crows behind the plow.

A man has often cut a rod to beat himself.

The seeking for one thing often leads to another.

The wise head keeps a shut mouth.

A heavy purse makes a light heart (wealth).

Thirst begets thirst (wealth).

A man has often cut a rod to beat himself.

A chance shot will not kill the devil.

Marriage will sober love.

Necessity accepts no law.

Don't built the sty till the litter comes.

Sex is the only game which becomes less exciting when played for money.

The empty pail makes the most noise.

The fool may pass for wise if he holds his tongue.

A fool's tongue is long enough to cut his own throat.

Silence is the same as confession.

Cattle are caught by their horns, people by their tongues.

There are two things that can't be cured: death and stupidity.

The brave man never loses.

Don't pluck your goose till you catch her.

Better a good run than a long standing.

Row with the oar that's nearest at hand.

Night is a good brings home man and beast.

Early sow, early mow.

If you walk with lame men, you will soon limp yourself.

A patch is better than a hole, but a hole is more honorable than a patch.

You can't sell the cow and drink the milk.

A closed fist catches no hawk.

You can't pluck a frog.

There is often a barb behind a kiss.

Sweet words beguile a fool.

White collars often hide a dirty neck.

Shallow waters make great noise.

A fool's word is like a thorn concealed in mud (it stings unexpectedly).

The more you trample dung, the more it spreads.

The bad deed turns on its doer.

Evil begets evil.

Fear is a fine spur, so is rage.

Desperation gives courage to a coward.

Hope soothes the tired heart.

Soft words butter no parsnips (but they won't harden the heart of the cabbage either).

Long churning makes bad butter.

A good beginning is half the work.

She would build a nest in your ear.

A lion is not a safe companion for all persons.

Faraway cows have longer horns.

The man of horns is active.

One's best is sufficient.

The wearer knows best where the shoe pinches.

Quarrelsome dogs get dirty coats.

Love cools quickly.

A trout in the pot is better than salmon in the sea.

The weed that grows from the dunghill lifts its head the highest.

The cat is his own best advisor.

True greatness knows gentleness.

Is it not a lonesome thing to be getting old?

The old pipe gives the sweetest smoke.

The older the buck, the harder the horn.

There's anger in an open laugh.

Put silk on a stick and it will look fine.

May I see you in heaven.

The brave man never loses.

If the cat scratches you, don't blame the dog.

It can't be both curds and whey with you.

It's difficult to choose between two blind goats.

Praise the child and it will progress.

A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a mother's sorrow.

Every finger has the same length, not every son the same disposition.

Cunning is better than strength.

Sweet words beguile a fool.

Wine drowns more men than blood.

Drunkenness and anger speak the truth.

The bad deed turns on its doer.

An old bird is not caught with chaff.

The darkest hour is nearest dawn.

A ship is often lost by its own harbor.

Too much of a good thing is the same as nothing.

The army that attacks will not be attacked.

Hope soothes the tired heart.

What is got badly goes badly.

A blind dog won't bark at the moon.

Nature is stronger than nurture.

If you put a silk dress on a goat, it's still a goat.

It's no secret that is known to three.

A soft-dropping April brings milk to cows and sheep.

A misty winter brings a pleasant spring; a pleasant winter a misty spring.

Blind should be the eye in the abode of another.

One pair of good soles is worth two pairs of upper leathers.

Better be bordering on plenty than be in the middle of poverty.

In winter the milk goes to the cow's horns.

The stars make no noise.

A wise head keeps a shut mouth.

Three things most difficult to understand: the mind of a woman, the labor of the bees and the ebb and flow of the tide.

I married a trollop for her gear. Her gear is gone, but she's still here.

Marry a mountainy woman and you'll marry the mountain.

Wine reveals the truth.

In the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king.

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

There's no dealing with a revengeful man.

There is nothing in the world so poor as going to hell.

Don't bless the fish till it gets to land.

Sending the goose on a message to the fox's den.

Three things there are that cannot be seen: the blade's edge, the wind, and love.

Every tide has its ebb.

A hut is a palace to a poor man.

Only a fool would prefer food to a woman.

It is not the most beautiful woman who has the most sense.

Death is the poor man's best physician.

There'll be many a dry eye at his funeral.

The graveyard growth is on him.

Never bid the devil good morrow till you meet him.

A mangy colt often turns into a fine horse.

To praise God is proper, but a wise man won't blackguard the devil, either.

He would go to mass every morning if holy water were whiskey.

It's no use boiling your cabbage twice.

Many an Irish property was increased by the lace of a daughter's petticoat.

'Tis said that an Englishman does his thinking while seated; a Frenchman while standing; an American amidst pacing; and an Irishman, afterwards.

When the sky falls, we'll all catch larks.

Far-off hills are always greenest.

A trout in the pot is better than a salmon in the sea.

Even a tin knocker will shine on a dirty floor.

Three kinds of women are there in the world: stubborn as a mule, unruly as a hen, and gentle as a lamb.

Three kinds of men are there in the world: workers, hunters, and boasters.

There'll be white blackbirds afore an unwilling woman ties the knot.

A scholar's ink lasts longer than a martyr's blood.

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried.

The longest road out is the shortest road home.

What is in the marrow is hard to take out of the bone.

Encourage youth and it will prosper.

May you be in heaven a half hour afore the devil knows you're dead.

As you slide down the bannister of life, may the splinters be facing the opposite way.

May the Good Lord take a liking to you...but not too soon.

May the road rise up to meet you.
And may the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the raindrops fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the small of his hand!



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